What the fuck is going on? Not only do we have the UK breeding terminators for the Olympics, but now we have fucking China training red pandas to be expert gymnasts. Is that even legal? Don’t panda’s have their own fucking Olympics? Give me a break. Regardless of what future Olympics hold for us, one thing is for sure. I need a pet red panda and I needed it yesterday. I didn’t realize they had gigantic wooly bear caterpillars for tails!!! That’s fucking sick. And I’m definitely going to train it to do things more useful than pull ups. My red panda is going to pick me up chicks and do my taxes and shit like that. It’s called being smart. Try it sometime.

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